Hope To See You II

The call of love

My longing

What is calling me, it sounds like love

But is it though

Something's missing, something that I know I need

These walls are caving in, making me feel safe, my friend is sitting a little too close, pinning me still

They have me tied, in their clutches, my wall and my friend they know what's best for me

They aren't hurting me, they are saving me from the hurt. They are doing this for my own good

Pinned me down, held me by the neck, air supply a little too low, and the noises a little too louder. I can hardly hear what's on the inside, I am safely tied here, and with whom my trust is safe.

I need love, but what is it? What is love? Why do I keep yearning for something? Why do I keep mourning? I feel grief, all I feel is intense sadness. 

I know I am safe, I am not getting hurt, then what is this pain, these bruises,

Why am I trying to escape, why am I trying to run away,

I am sorry my friend I need to go, but where, and why. We have been through this? Its not....

I am struggling to stay in this,

I am fighting to free myself, 

I know there is a lot of outside,

I am scared it will all end without me,

I fear that it will all be just black,

I love colors, I want to paint these walls with them, but why are they so far away

When I want them so bad, why don't they want me

Why am I the only one, trying to crawl out

Why isn't 'out' pulling me out

Why does it keep pushing me back, harder every time

Why are the colors trying to splash a little 

Why aren't they coming to me?

Why do I keep bending, till I am broke

And then again

And then some more

Don't they love me, I love them so much, I want them, but why are they so still

So so still, not moving at all

WHY

What did I do? Do they hate me? Am I overthinking? Why can't they hear my screams? Why can't they see my tears?

They say that there is other side of the tunnel,

To be honest, tunnel feels like a road now,

My journey and my destination,

The Afterglow and the dawn, I always miss the before

I should may be go to sleep

And there will light when I get up,

May be if I can just shut my eyes for a while, sleep through the night, 

May be me and my friend,

We will reach the morning, it might be little less black,

little less everything that is right now

I hope to see the one I have been missing.

I hope you want to see me too!